Put One Foot in Front Of the Other

It seems sometimes in life like it's a series of never ending questions and no I'm not talking about when your kid reaches that "why" stage and it really is a series of never ending questions.  But once you reach a certain age the questions are like - "when are you going to move out?",  "when are you going to buy a house?", "when are you going to get married?", "when are you going to have kids?".  I understand for some these questions may be in a different order.  Once you have kids the questions continue - after the kid is about a week old, then you are asked when are you going to have more kids then the questions are asked to the kids- "when are you going to crawl?", "when are you going to walk?", "when are you going to talk?", "when are you going to stop talking?", "when are you going to move out?"  Well you get the picture.
I am asked a lot about when Leah is going to walk (as if I know) and to be honest, I really don't want Leah to learn to walk - I do but really not right now.  Leah is an expert crawler, almost almost like a drone - speedy, silent and deadly.  Ok, maybe not deadly but she does cause a lot of damage.  Can you imagine what my daughter would be like if she was walking? It would be a disaster!  You do realize what happens after your kid learns to walk right?  They learn to climb, then run which is followed by jumping!  JUMPING!  My oldest, Grace can't stop jumping.  She jumps off the couches or onto couches.  Grace jumps instead of walks - she can't even stand still!  Why would I want two kangaroo's in my house - jumping off the walls and causing destruction every where?  No, it's a good think Leah can't walk yet although she did take a few steps on her own today.  I'm not sure how I feel about that and who taught her to do that as well. 

Why Beginning Reader Books Irk Me

My oldest is starting to read - really read - and hearing her read a word or a sentence just amazes me.  I know a lot of it is memorized but it's still pretty cool - like hearing her speak for the first time.  My four year old also loves books - always has (I guess she takes after her momma) and I have been reading to her since before she was born.  Yes, I was one of those parents who read to her belly.  I would also play music to both my unborn children via headphones on my belly so Grace (and Leah too) could listen to something other than my heartbeat while hanging out in my womb but that's another story.  So my four year old is starting to actually read and it's very cool - except for the beginning reader books.  Listen, I am not a teacher but I understand how repition works as does practice but why do these books have to be so boring?  I get you have to learn to walk before running and all the other sayings out there but is it possible to maybe make these early reader books ummm I don't know a bit more interesting?  Every week, Grace comes home with her reader that includes two books that she is suppose to read to her father and I and it's painful (I know, I've been reading a lot longer than my daughter has and the books are written for me to enjoy but still). 
I often wonder how these readers are written who comes up with these stories?  I would love to hear the pitches for these books.  As if a writer bursts into his editors office declaring he has an great idea for a new early reading book.  The editor, who for some reason I imagine being the editor from the Spiderman comics, leans back in his chair and says with a cigar in his mouth, "tell it to me kid".  So the writer tries to contain his excitement, " so there are these kids and this clown and the clown hands each of the kids a different colour party hat.  But in the end, the clown puts on a rainbow party hat.  The end!" (Yes this was an actual book Grace read).
"Genius!  Brilliant, I tell you!  In the end, the clown puts on a rainbow coloured hat!  I love it!  Print it up right away!  We'll make millions kid!  Millions!"  Ok, I might be putting too much into this whole thing but still.
This weeks book is about a kid packing up his backpack.  It is a bit more exciting since, (spoiler alert!) he packs a toy spider to scare his teacher!  Oh man, I did not see that one coming!
As boring as they are for me, they are doing what they are suppose to do and teach my daughter how to read so I guess I will endure listening to them for a few more years until she moves on to reading about vampires, warewolves or wizards.

Leah's late nights

Leah has been waking up in the middle of the night a lot this past week or so and I can't really figure out the reason why.  She will just start screaming, not fussing, but screaming out.  I've been trying to figure out this mystery but I'm stuck.  She can't be cold since she sleeps in a fleece sleeper (which I would love to get for myself) plus like a million other blankets.  She's not too warm since we keep the house pretty cool at night (thus another reason for many blankets).  She can't be lonely since she has her pals Grover and Elmo with her, or at least not too far from her in her bed, plus she has a blanket for her face as well.  It can't be too quiet for her either since Leah sleeps with white noise on.
These are things that we have been doing since Leah started sleeping in her own room.
My youngest isn't teething either- no runny nose or fever.
I try to let her cry, but after about five or 10 minutes I can't take it - I feel bad, even though she knows how to go back to sleep on her own.  So I go into her room and calm her down - say some Alligator Pie and rub her tummy.  I use to pick her up but that would only turn my sweet Leah into a demon child so, I just lean over her crib rail and try to do the best I can.  That sometimes works.  Sometimes.  Some night or early mornings a diaper change is needed which if it's the full reason for the visits I'm not sure what I am going to do since diapers only go up to size six and Leah wears a size five at night.
Then there are some nights/early mornings when it seems like Leah just wants me to visit her.  She'll cry out to get me running only to greet me with a smile or giggle instead of tears - which would be nice if I wasn't coming from a dream with one of the guys from One Direction or my sit down chat with Oprah.
Once Leah has calmed down  either because of a visit by me or on the rare occasion on her own accord, I lie awake in my bed either waiting to fall back to sleep or for Leah to wake up again.  Some nights if she has fallen back to sleep on her own, I wonder if she is actually ok and so I will go and check on her only to find her fast asleep which calms me down, until I go to shut her door and it decides to shout out that it needs oil, which of course wakes Leah up and then we are back to the first verse of Alligator Pie and some tummy rubbing.

Another step towards Indepence....

Thank you all for voting for me for the Circle of Moms top 25 funniest blogs....I didn't win, but I beat other blogs out there!
So on to other news....today was the first day Leah did not have her morning bottle, yup my baby is totally growing up - she can now drink out of a sippy cup on her own - I don't have to hold it for her anymore!  I'm a little excited about that, it's kind of hard to eat your own dinner while trying to help your child drink (I am now use to eating semi-warm meals that when I do get something hot I don't know what to do!)  It always amazes me when I watch either Grace and now Leah eat, it's one of those things that sort of baffles me - even though it's instinct to eat I still wonder how did they learn to do that.  It use to be me telling them to drink or eat and now they do it all on their own.  Leah has gotten the lesson so well that she now enjoys getting into our cupboards and helping herself to snacks - crackers or cereal, the occasional onion.
Yes my youngest is growing up - not walking yet, but still getting into mischief.

ONE MORE DAY TO VOTE (yes I am yelling!)

There is only ONE more day to vote for the top funniest blog!!!  I NEED your votes like I NEED chocolate most days - VERY MUCH!!!!!

Here's the link: http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-Funny-Moms-2013#_

I am allllllll the way at 214 (at last check)....so you'll be scrolling for a while...but I'm there!!!

Thanks for your vote!!!

I'm the boring one

My oldest daughter is growing up way to fast - she now wants to make her own breakfast in the morning and can actually do it, ok she can't use the toaster or stove on her own just yet but she does make one mean bowl of cereal.  She also wants to cut down on the amount of hugs and kisses she gets from me or my husband, the amount of time she wants to spend with us and she keeps insisting that she needs her own phone - in her own room.  The biggest thing, and the one I am not really enjoying is her being outspoken and completely honest, which alright can mean a lot of funny insights but it also means hurt feelings sometimes.  I was recently informed by my four year old that she does not like me because I am boring.  She likes her father because he is not boring.  My husband of course tells me not to worry about it, she doesn't mean it, it's not a competition- easy for him to say since he is liked by our daughter.  I'm not sure if I am hurt by being unliked or because I am boring.  I know I'm not the most outgoing person on the planet and compared to my husband I am not the most silliest either but I don't think I am that boring.  I like to do fun things. 
I'm happy that she comfortable enough and feels loved enough to be as honest as she is - pretty hard to tell someone that you don't like them and as hard it is to hear it, I would rather she be open like that then keep her feelings inside.  Maybe I am a little hurt because I feel a little unappreciated by her - besides the whole giving birth to her thing, most of the things my daughter enjoys or finds fun to do or watch is because of me (yes I am patting myself on my back).  I introduced her to all her favourite Disney Princess' because I watched them when I was a kid.  I introduced her some of her favourite books like Ramona Quimby because that was my favourite book to read when I was a kid.  I think of fun crafts to do or baking to do.  I hang fun stuff from her ceiling in her bedroom..  But I'm the boring one.  I'm sorry if I sound a little angry, it's hard for anyone when you think a lot about them, what they would enjoy to do and they tell you they don't like you because you are boring.  I know the time will come when she doesn't like her father because he is embarrassing or doesn't allow her to wear make-up or a certain outfit and I will be her favourite.  Then I can tell my husband, it doesn't matter - it's not a competition.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is coming up, yes I know what many of you are thinking, 'it should be every day that we share our love with each other', 'it's just a Hallmark holiday', blah blah blah.  I do sort of agree with you - sort of.  Sure we should make sure our loved ones know that we love them every day and show our appreciation and love for our friends and all that jazz but come on, isn't it nice to be included in this Hallmark holiday and to get that pound of chocolate before Easter, especially if you are going through chocolate withdrawals from Christmas like I am....I'm eating chocolate chips for goodness sake!!!
What was I talking about?...right Valentine's day, so I'm not completely opposed to it, a girls gotta eat chocolate right?  But I never realized how much work actually goes into it when you have young kids.  I think I've sent Valentine's from Grace before, she of course didn't sign them but this is her first year when she will be sending out those little cards to a gazillion other kids and filling in the 'to' and 'from' parts herself.  I thought about maybe writing out who the Valentine's are for to help my daughter out but then I figured - no, this will be a good learning experience for Grace, plus it might be frowned upon by her teachers.  So even though it would have taken me 20 minutes to do all her valentines, I sit back and let her pick which of her friend's get which Disney Princess card (I'm sure they will be a big hit to the boys in her class)  and continually tell my daughter that she needs to write smaller so that the full name can fit on the card itself.  Grace is actually doing good with the whole printing, but then again she only does about eight cards a day or so, but still - I'm proud of her penmanship- especially for a four year old.
  Question: who designs store bought Valentine's Day cards?  These things are so small, no adult could really print any name with more than three letters clearly on them.  I am convinced these tiny cards have been created by adults, or possibly elves who don't have any children, especially young school age children, because if they did they would make these cards the size of poster board in order to accommodate the child's printing, since they are still learning to print and are unaware that letters come in different sizes other than extra, extra large!  And yes, I did buy Valentine's Day cards instead of making them because I know Grace would make half a card and then get bored and I would be stuck making the gazillion cards for her friends.  Not that I would mind sharing the love, just as long as there is a heart shaped box of chocolates near by.

I need YOUR vote....

Hello everyone!! I entered this contest where they are looking for the top 25 funniest mom blogs and I thought what the hell - why not! I need help though, I need your vote, your friend's vote, their friend's vote...you get the idea.....you and your friends, and their friends can vote every day!!! Please, pretty please???
http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-Funny-Moms-2013

Thank You!!!

Leah goes Psycho

I now know how Janet Leigh must have felt during the shower scene in Psycho.  You know just relaxing having a shower and then - reek! reek! reek! Someone pulls the shower curtain back and well I don't want to ruin the scene for those who haven't seen it yet.  There I was this morning, trying to have a nice shower, getting myself ready for the day.  Normally I have a shower right after I work out, when my husband is home so that someone can watch the kids, well so that an adult can watch the kids since Grace claims she can watch Leah which of course means, 'I am in the same room with Leah- most of the time but I am not actually watching my sister especially if the TV is on'.  So, back to this morning, Grace and my husband had left the house and I wanted to take a shower, so I brought Leah into my room with some books and toys and found 'Clifford' on TV for her to watch thinking - my 14 month old daughter will actually sit down maybe look at some books or watch the big red dog on TV so that I can have a 10 minute shower.  She has never done this before, normally she getting into our nightstand drawers, taking the bookmark out of my book or turning off my alarm clock but today could be the day!  I'm not sure what I was drinking when I thought this but I should drink it again on the weekend after my girls go to bed.  So, I get into the shower and then I hear my bathroom door close.  I peek out and there is Leah in my bathroom - alright, so I guess she doesn't like the Godzilla like dog, no big deal.  I go back to my shower.  Then I hear Leah open the cupboard under the sink - hmmmm this could be trouble and I start to wonder if we (I mean me) should start putting everything behind plastic lock and key.  I hear Leah take stuff from the cupboard - half empty after shave lotion, half empty relaxing bubble bath, half empty mouthwash (I guess I should clean my cupboards more or just let Leah do it for me).  Then I hear nothing.  I don't worry, Leah is most likely playing with the toilet paper or trying to eat something, that kid eats everything that she finds on the floor and I mean everything - hair, lint, small stones (no stars yet though).
When I didn't hear anything like her pulling everything out from under the sink, spitting whatever she put in her mouth out after realizing that hair doesn't taste good,  the flutter of the toilet paper roll spinning as mountains of paper land on the floor, or even her ear bleeding scream I started to get a little worried.  I call out her name - nothing.  I didn't hear the door open, she can't even open doors -yet so she must be still in the bathroom.  I am just getting ready to turn around when - reek! reek! reek!  Leah grabs the shower curtain and pulls it toward her and giggles -sort of.  I'm telling you - Psycho! Well minus the cross dressing and gigantic knife and blood....but still the same thing.  Sort of.  Leah and Grace have done the whole pulling back the shower curtain thing before but in a more gentle way, you knew they were coming because you could see their tiny fingers gripping the curtain, they didn't just push it out of the way to scare the poop out of you.  Memo to mommy - get a clear shower curtain.

"But why does he have holes in his hands?"

I was reading some celebrity news the other day while Grace was finishing up her breakfast, yes I know - it's not real news, but one can only take so much about the economy, natural disasters, or sports before losing their minds.  Besides it is news - how else can you feel better about your choices unless you know what new trouble Lindsay Lohan has gotten herself into, or what petty fights the Real Housewives of Wherever are in, or how can you know if dreams do come true unless you know if Brangelina have finally gotten married (they haven't yet by the way).  So there I was sitting beside my oldest, catching up on the latest pictures of Kim Kardashian's baby bump as Grace slowly chewed her waffle when she asked " who's that man?"
I scroll the page up a bit and there is a picture of 'Jesus' and a story of how the History Channel will be airing a special on the Bible in March.
"That's a picture of Jesus when he was an adult" I said to Grace.  My oldest is aware of the man, well more about him as a baby because of this past Christmas.  She was kind of obsessed about it, but not compared to her obsession with Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.  She knows the story of how Jesus was born.
"Why does he have long, curly hair?" Grace asked.
"Because that's how some people wore their hair back then."
"Oh.  Why does he have holes in his hands?"  she asked.
What?  And yes, there in his hand was a clear hole, obviously the picture was of the Resurrected Jesus.  I explained to my four year old, in a way I hoped would make sense to her, about how Jesus died and how on Easter he rose.  I figured she understood the story, how could she not, it's so easy to understand.  Grace took a few more bites of her waffle while I went on to read about Beyonce's lip synching scandal.
"But, why does he have holes in his hands!" Grace blurted out.
I tried not to laugh and explained again how Jesus was nailed to a cross, that he had nails in his hands and feet.
"That's not nice." was Grace's reply.
"No, it's not.  People don't do that anymore."
And that's how Grace learned about what happened when Baby Jesus grew up.

Vote for Me!!!

So I entered this contest on the Circle of Moms website.....and now I need votes! So please vote for me!!!! http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-Funny-Moms-2013

Scream like no one is listening

So I mentioned before how Leah has decided to start screaming as a way to get the family's attention.  I should mention that her scream isn't the typical loud noise - oh no, my daughter is able to hit a certain octave that' an ear piercing, glass shattering, Mariah Carey noise.  It' brings tears to your eyes and not in the "oh my goodness that's an amazing, beautiful sound".  It's annoying and it hurts, especially when she does it when you are holding her.  I get it's the only way she has figured out how to communicate.  I understand she does it because it's easy for her and she has figure out that it's a good way to get either my husband or my attention.  I get it but I don't like it.  Especially when she belts it out as dinner is being served and she's hungry and she just can't wait.  Or during dinner when instead of pointing, like I ask her to do, she goes as Opera style for her milk or more food.  I know this headache of a phase will pass and while I am tempted to put some ear plugs in, I know there will be a day when she will talk non-stop just to hear her own voice and I will miss when all she could do was babble and scream!