So where did the time go?

Hello readers!
Wow, it has been a long, long time since I was last on here.  Have you missed my interesting adventures into motherhood?  I get asked on occasion if I am still writing - no I am not I tell those who ask - mostly because with a now 3 year old at home (!!) volunteering at my older child's school and having a into everything 3 year old (yes I know I mentioned that already but I felt it needed to be said again) I don't really have time sadly :(.  I do miss it.  I found writing kept me a bit sane and I hope to get back into it one day.

Quick Update:
My oldest is still awesome and will be turning 7!!! soon.  She is super smart and caring but I can't believe how old she will be some days and others I forget that she is the age she is and not older.
My youngest is 3 and will be starting school come the fall.  She is totally independent and needs daily (some times hourly) reminders that she is 3 and not as old as her Mommy and Daddy and needs to hold our hands when we walk in parking lots.

Hope you are well.  We will talk soon.

A Birthday letter to Leah

Happy Birthday Leah!
I can't believe you are two years old already, that was one fast year - maybe not for you but for both Daddy and I, it was.  Sometimes it even feels like we just brought you home from the hospital but then there are other days when I can't remember you not being a part of my life.
You have learned a lot this past year - you are now sleeping in a big girl bed, which you love.  You are learning and saying new words every day, sometimes every hour!  Ok maybe not that fast but it seems like it.  You can actually communicate with Daddy and I, most of the time and we can understand you!  Remember when you tried telling us what you wanted but you didn't know the words and we didn't know what you wanted and oh then everyone was in tears.  We don't have too many of those days anymore do we?  Yea!
We've started potty training.  Well, we've taken teeny, tiny steps towards potty training but that will be this year's goal.
There have been some challenges this year too haven't there?  Like when I tell you to stop climbing on the chairs when you try to reach whatever food is on the counter, or when you try to email your friends on my computer.  Yes, those aren't fun time and sorry to say there may be more of those too this new year but good job on your climbing and figuring out you need a chair to do that.
And I'm sorry about having to give you eye drops, you know there were because you caught pink eye from Grace and they were to help you not harm you as you tried to make it sound like I was doing to you.  Hopefully we won't have to go through that again.
You are an amazing big girl and so smart too.  Do you know that you teach me things all the time?  you teach me to take in the day, to look at things - to really look at them for what they may be and then to look at them in a different way.  I am trying to learn the lesson, your older sister is still trying to teach me, but I appreciate that you are both trying.  One day I will really get it.  You teach me to laugh at silly things like when you pretend your empty cup is a hat or your bowl.  I love that you like showing off what you know like every time I hold you, you point out my ears, nose, mouth and glasses.  You know you don't always have to touch my glasses right?
I love that you love books - just like Grace and I do.  Sometimes too much is a bad thing.  You know what I'm talking about.  That night I found you surrounded by pages of what use to be a library book but is now ours because someone, and I'm not pointing fingers (you) was looking at with sticky fingers and the pages got stuck together so we couldn't return it.  Remember that night when I found you?  You were sleeping on your floor and there were pages and little pieces of pages around you.  I'm not even going to assume what had happened but I suspect that you just love that book too much.
I love that you are curious and while it may get you into trouble, like the time you push the emergency button in the elevator at the doctor's office, please don't ever stop being curious.  Life gets boring when you stop wondering about it.
I hope that you had a good year.  I am very proud of you, even if it doesn't seem like it am.  I know you are learning about the world around you and trying to figure things out and yes that still means you only write on paper not the walls.
Could I ask one thing of you though please?  Can you please keep the tantrums this year on the more low key side?  I promise we will have a lot more fun if that happens.
Happy Birthday Leah!
Love Mommy.

Big Girl Bed

Not sure why, but I thought last week was a good time to move Leah, who is almost 2, from her crib to a toddler bed, alright more like keeping her in her bed but removing one side of it.  I guess I figured since my youngest enjoyed hanging out on her big sister's bed and pretending to nap that she was ready for the next step - being able to get in and our of her own bed.
We waited until Saturday to remove the side and tried to make a big deal about it too but Leah didn't seem as excited as her sister was.  She was happy to be able to get into and out of her bed but that was pretty much it. - 'whoopee, I can get in and out of bed - big deal mommy'.
Then came nap time.  Well what was suppose to be nap time.  Did the usual thing, had lunch, cleaned up Leah and then told her "time for your nap in your big girl bed".  I think Leah might had forgotten what had happened in her room because she was totally cool until we got to her room.  I put her down in her bed, turned on her music and said 'I will see you after nap'.  I closed her door and started to walk down the hall and then it started - Leah opened her door again and then closed it.  Then opened it again.  Then closed it.  This little game continued for a few minutes until I guess my youngest realized she didn't have to be in bed really.  After a half and hour and the door game was long over and all was quiet, I went to check on her.  I opened the door expecting to see her sleeping somewhere in her room - hopefully in her bed - but instead found her sitting in her chair reading.  Ok, not a problem just as long as there is some sort of quiet time in our house.
I was feeling hopeful, this might actually happen and be easy.  
Then bedtime came. 
Bedtime, or what is also known as my favourite time of the day.  My girls are snuggled in their beds, all is quiet, a time to reflect on the day.  Then I had the brilliant idea to eliminate one side of Leah's bed, allowing her to leave her room when she is upset instead of just staying in her bed.  And that's exactly what happened.  Since she didn't have her nap, she was very tired and couldn't fall asleep right away.  So, she came out of her room.  Over and over and again.  For about 30 minutes or so, I pretty much just stood in front of her door and kept saying, 'back to bed please'. I was very happy about it as most parents who are tired can be.
Then she fell asleep and I really was happy about it.  Then Leah fell out of bed or almost fell out of bed and was scared and got upset again.  So I put her extra large stuffed dog and elephant and pillows on the floor beside the bed.  Then Leah fell asleep again (yippee!).  Then she started coughing - a lot.  I'll sum up my whole Saturday night/Sunday morning - not much sleep for either of us.  Grace on the other hand had a wonderful sleep and was full of energy the next day.
As the week went on, I wondered if I would be spending the first half an hour of naptime and bedtime sitting outside Leah's door.  I was pretty close to picking up some cushions or a chair so that I would be at least some what comfty while sitting on the floor continually telling my daughter  - 'sorry, can't come out.'  I was also thinking why I wanted to rush this step and how screwed up would it be if we put the side of the crib back on.
But then something happened.  Something special and magical.  I can't really explain it but either Leah got bored with her door opening game or actually understood this is how it's going to be and started staying in her bed.  She's not falling asleep right away which I don't really care about, but she's staying in her bed.  In her room.  Sure she's bringing all her toys to bed with her, or playing with her alphabet keyboard but, and I'll say it again - SHE'S STAYING IN HER ROOM!!!
I think she is enjoying this next phase, feeling like a big girl like her sister.
Next step - the dreaded potty training.....

Lice Hunt

Fall in my house means a few things - eating more pasta, wearing sweaters and warm socks, washing our hands more, pumping up on Vitamin C and kicking up the lice search.  This is the second time I have been on the lice search, mainly because this is the second year my oldest daughter has been in school but I am more frighten  than last year.  There currently is an outbreak at my daughter's school and I don't think anything scares me more than the possibility of my daughter coming home with lice.  Well except maybe having to pay more taxes, or eating all the Halloween candy before Halloween, or maybe even having food in my teeth in public and no one telling me.
So, yes it's been a few weeks since this whole lice thing started and every day when Grace comes home from school, I quickly search through her head.  I do another scan later on and I am starting to feel like a monkey a bit with all this nit searching (actually if anyone does have a monkey for rent, could I borrow it?).  I honestly I really don't know what I am searching for.  Ok, I know what I am suppose to be looking for, but since I haven't seen them in the flesh before I'm blind to what I should be hunting.  I've only seen lice in pictures where they are magnified by 500 percent.
I have never had lice (knock on wood) but I remember scaring my mom when I was a kid.  I think I was in grade 1 or 2 and it was time for the annual lice check. Our class was called down to the office where some lady searched through our hair. I was pulled out because I believe she saw something in my white hair and so I had to be checked again.  A bug was found, but - but not a lice bug.  Now, I did have baths and I was suppose to wash my hair but come on, I was young and had too much too do than washing my hair all the time.  I had sand to play in, books to look at, crafts to do - not spend my time washing my hair.  Plus, it took forever for my hair to dry.  So that is my only near lice experience and hopefully my last one.
So until this whole thing is over my daughter will have dirty hair in braids unless I can send her to school with a shower cap on - or is that too over the top?

Has anyone seen my baby?

I was folding some laundry today and as I was folding some pj pants that Grace use to wear but now Leah wears and it hit me - my baby isn't a that much of a baby anymore.  I've gotten use to it, a bit, with Grace but it's new with Leah.  My youngest will be two in December but she doesn't look her age, she is much taller and since she's the baby she thinks she can do things that Grace does - and most of the time she can, with a little help from mommy.
Where did my baby go?  I'm going to try to not get too sappy, but some days it seems like she's still a newborn.  I mostly get these feelings when it's nap time or bed time.  But I do miss cuddling with her - now while she does still like to sit on my lap, Leah mostly like to sits on her own on the couch.
I think it's hitting me harder seeing her wearing Grace's hand me downs because when my five year old wore them the first time around, I knew that one day another child would also wear them.  But now, Leah might be the last one to wear them and it's kind of sad - even though they're just clothes.  I didn't feel like this when either of my girls out grew the newborn clothes but for some reason, the bigger the clothes are the harder it gets to pack them away once they outgrow them.  I guess since their personality has emerged more the older they get, it's almost like a packing up a piece of them and a part of that time in their life as well.
Are you crying yet?

Terrible Two's

For the past month or so I kept trying to post something new but then something else seemed more important and really for those of you who don't know, writing is like exercise...if you stop for any length of time it's hard to get started again.   But here I am, getting starting again.
The past month has been all about getting back - getting back to school, getting back into the routine of things, getting the house ready for winter, all that stuff.  Isn't it strange how more difficult and how much more time it takes to get back into a routine than it is to break one?
Since Grace is in school full time, I am now able to spend more time and attention on Leah who has started her terrible two's very early.  Everything is her's, she only wants to do what she wants to do and when she doesn't want to listen she really does plug her ears with her fingers.  I don't know what I am going to do with her, it's hard to not laugh sometimes because she is so determined and really thinks she can do whatever her older sister does.  My little tiny terror.  At least she hasn't started the whole scribbling on the walls, or ripping all the books, or flushing anything down the toilet stage yet.
So I have been trying to remember how to deal with a toddler again, which in another way is hard because Grace didn't go through the terrible two's, she went through the terrible three's.  More difficult in someways because you figure as a parent maybe you have by-passed having to go through the dreaded two stage, but then your kid turns three and all of a sudden it's melt down after melt down.  so I guess what I am trying to say is while I don't always enjoy trying to explain to a toddler why it's not a good idea to run around the house with a steak knife or why standing in the bathtub isn't a good idea or why we shouldn't drink the bathwater (all true stories by the way), I think I'd rather go through this terrible stage now than later on because hopefully once it's done it's done....until the teen years.

You can give a Toddler a cup but you can't always make them drink from it.

It's been a while since I've been on here, summer was just kind of well a glimpse wasn't it? Hot one week and then not so hot the other weeks.   I was busy like everyone else - trying to keep both girls entertained, but mostly Grace who seemed to ask for a play date pretty much everyday (I guess I'm not as fun as I thought I was).  But now that she's back in school I can get back to my writing. 
Today's post is about how I have stepped into a negotiator position with Leah.  Leah who is not even two years old yet, but has her toddler attitude down to perfection.  The whole whiny, ears only work when she wants something, being unreasonable and stubborn as a mule is how she acts most of the time.  She's like the Nursery Rhyme my mother used to say to me, 'There was a little girl." 

There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good but when she was bad she was horrid.  

Ok, now Leah isn't horrid but she isn't shy to tell you she's upset and she'll stand her ground, or at least try to to get her way.  When she doesn't want to go some place and you try to move her, she'll just raise her arms and try to slide out of your grasp or the classic just slump to the ground.  She enjoys screaming, much to our neighbours delight and telling you straight up, "no, not fair!" (which I believe she has heard from Grace.)  Most of the time it's not a big deal and I know one day she will make an excellent protester!  I can ignore her attempts at getting her way but it drives me up the wall when it comes to her finishing her drinks (either milk or water). 
Leah has been drinking from a cup for a while but she enjoys just taking the smallest sip - enough to just wet her mouth it seems.  We don't give her a lot to drink either because while like I said she has been drinking for a while, accidents still happen.  So maybe her cup has a quarter of what her sister gets and yet - IT STILL TAKES AN HOUR FOR HER TO DRINK IT! I'm not kidding.  This morning I was in a stand off waiting for her to finish her milk - it took an hour before my daughter finally gave in (yes I know where she gets her stubbornness from and the sooner she learns that I'm the master the better it will be for all of us.)  I feel like I am negotiating with the Taliban.  Not that I have ever negotiated with the Taliban but I did see the first 10 minutes of 'Zero Dark Thirty' and it looked a lot like what I go through to get Leah to drink all the milk or water from her cup.  There are tears and alternating being shouting and being really super duper nice.  There is pleading and some bribing and a lot of "no way".  Sometimes we just have to wait it out but other times we can trick her into thinking she has won by giving her a straw or a different cup.  In the end Mommy always wins, because in the end Leah usually finishes whatever is in her cup.

Look Who's Talking!

Ok, I really didn't mean for it to go this long without writing.  At the start of the summer my dream plan was to write every other day, I should be able to squeeze that in....(laughing) yea right!  So here I am over a week later posting.....this time it's all about Leah for a change.  Sweet little crazy Leah!  Hard to believe in a few days she will be 20 months!  She is your typical toddler, getting into everything and then hiding the evidence - one of her sandals mysteriously disappeared over the weekend at the family cottage as did my husband's cables for his slew of electronics and a marker and a lid have also mysterious disappeared - hopefully the lid is on the marker.  (This game of hide stuff will be discussed on another blog, hopefully in a few days and not next week) Leah is also talking.  Alright, she has been talking for a while, but back then it was sporatic now the words are coming from her mouth at a rapid pace - it's weird.  Weird hearing your child speak for the first time, I always wonder what their voice is going to sound like and I have come to the conclucsion that all little kids sound the same when they are first learning to talk.  Leah hasn't said any sentences yet, but she can sort of communicate although her first choice is always to scream.  So far this is what my youngest daughter can say: Mommy, Daddy, Gace, baby, hat, shoes, apple, cat, dog, hot, up, done, milk, water, fork, spoon, tu-tu, nap, blueberries, strawberries, eyes, nose, butt, bum, pee, poo, diaper, Grover, Elmo, Muppet, pig, boots, hi, bye bye and of course no! (gives you a little insight as to what is discussed in my house doesn't it?) 
Grace of course is finding this new side of her sister fun and tries to get her to say new words, it was because of her that Leah can say Muppet, pig, and butt.
So we have reached that level where I am thisclose to sort of but not really understanding my youngest daughter and what goes on in her head, ah who am I  kidding, I still don't understand my oldest and she's five!  I do enjoy this stage of learning, well except when all I hear from Leah is no, no, no!
My husband however is on the fence, now he is has to fight with three girls trying to talk before he can get a word in!

It's Too Freakin' HOT!!!

Come the middle of winter, when the snow banks are taller than I am and I or my husband have shoveled our driveway for the thousandth time I will be kicking myself for what I am about to say....but it's just too darn hot!!!  Too HOT!!!  That is my excuse for not writing anything since my last post....it's too hot!  And also we have spent our hot, sticky days just playing - at the beach, at our family cottage, in the sprinkler - really anywhere that has water.
Since it's the middle of summer, I am wondering if I can let my daughters spend the rest of it just watching movies near a fan to stay cool?  Or is that just a waste of this warm beautiful weather?

Reading is Fun!

One of the hardest things I think so far of being a parent isn't the newborn stage or even the terrible two's but teaching your child to read - IT IS SO HARD!!!
I had this brilliant idea that this summer Grace would practice her reading every day.  I think I got it off of Pinterest and thought, "now that's a great idea.  I'm sure it's really easy to do too since it's on Pinterest, no one ever fails doing something they saw off of this site!"  Yea, not so much.  Grace is a good reader for her age and especially since she just started.  She enjoys reading and books but like many kids her age she suffers from 'if it's not easy I simply can't do it- itis', it's a horrible disease and as far as the research I have done with Google, there is no cure (I will gladly take donations for my wine supply).  So this reading every day thing has been going so smoothly (LOL).  I really did think that it would be simple, spend just about 20 minutes a day having Grace practice her reading.  I know, stupid right - like it would actually take 20 minutes!  Have you ever tried listening to a child learn to read? It's a painful, horrible, magical thing - like child birth - at first eh you deal with it, it's not too bad but then hours later you are thisclose to just ripping that kid out of you.  To me that's how it is hearing my sweet daughter read, or at least when she sounds out words.  She gets all the sounds right and then I tell her - 'put it together, just put those sounds together, just smush them together' and it's agony. She really just says the individual sounds faster and louder.  I have to bite my tongue to keep from shouting, " says, the word is SAYS!"
The sounding out isn't as bad as the whiny, "I can't remember" that is said pretty much any new word pops out, even before I can say, "sound it out!"  My speech has been the same since day one, 'we are going to practice reading every day all summer.  You are learning to read, you need to practice it and yes it's hard but the more you practice, the easier it will get." Rah, rah blah blah.  Then there is some huffing and some tears and asking, why are we doing this and then Grace starts getting all upset.  I sometimes hate the English language and how their words and the rules that come with the words don't make sense.
I do admit though that it is pretty amazing when I get to hear my daughter read a whole sentence and for that one second I go back to my original thought of spending a few minutes/hours every day this summer to practice reading is a good idea.  Maybe in a few years when it's Leah's turn to learn to read, I can be off the hook.

Dining Dilemma

So it's been about a week since school has let out for the summer and (I could be shooting myself in the foot) things have been going ok - meaning Grace isn't bored yet.  I have forgotten how easy things can be when you don't have to be somewhere at a certain time.  But this post isn't about how summer is going - it's only been a week!
No, this post is all about my obsession with Leah and food, well together not as two different things, yes I am obsessed with my daughter and I love food, but that's something to talk about another day.
So, I really don't fully understand why us mom's get obsessed when it comes to our offspring eating.  Ok, I get that they need to eat, that it's our job to provide them with healthy things to eat and we should show them how to eat nicely and not like wild animals but why do I get so insane when Leah doesn't want to eat her toast in the morning. I know deep down inside my brain her not eating some toast in the morning doesn't mean she will starve or become unhealthy or turn to a life on crime or end up on the Jerry Springer show (if it's still on) but I kind of go a little bonkers when she has just one tiny, bite and then declares she is full.  Alright she doesn't announce that she is full she mostly pushes her plate away as far as her arms can reach and I swear she is always aiming at her cup of milk in the hope that is also gets knocked over.
It's weird right?  Leah does eat.  She isn't withering away to nothing, she isn't crying all day because she is hungry and to be honest she is still filling up diapers (that is another obsession us moms can't seem to shake) and yet I can't seem to allow my daughter to eat as much or as little as she wants.  I think a lot of this insanity comes from the mystery of toddlers - how can they not be hungry when all they do is run around?  How can a growing human being survive for long periods of time on only like five blueberries?  I guess a better question would be how long can that little person survive if they only eat a few cheerios, a swallow of milk, a couple of blueberries, a bite of cheese, a cracker, a bite of cucumber, just looking at some meat, pushing around some carrots and tossing rice on the floor.  I'm not that obsessed that I have actually taken notes on what Leah has eaten in a day, that last example was of course an example and not, I repeat, not taken from any notes that I may or may not have taken in the last week.  But how can a toddler last with that small amount of food (and still poop as much as she does!)?
Next time, I will write about a fascinating new game that Leah has invented called "Let's show mommy what's in my mouth every time I am suppose to be eating!" (Hint, it's really fun and totally not gross at all.)

School's Out!

This is it, the last day of school for my oldest daughter Grace.  No more lazy days with just my youngest Leah in the mornings, no more watching Real Housewives of some place when Leah has her nap, no more quiet afternoons before the evening rush.  Darn you school!  I'm sort of kidding, part of me will miss Grace being away most of the day - learning and being entertained by other kids but a bigger part of me is looking forward to getting to hang out with Grace more - I miss her and all the silliness that comes with her.
I'm sure all parents of school age children say the same thing, and since now I am one of them I get to say it - I can't believe my daughter is finished her first year of school!  That flew by, some days more than others but it does seem like I was just getting her ready for school and now she is finished JK.
My daughter was really excited this morning, we had been counting down to today - mostly to help her hurry up in the morning (only 3 more days of rushing in the morning, you can do it Grace, just get ready for school!)  Grace is looking forward to her summer break, although she did inform that summer has already started but she is excited to be going to the beach and being allowed to watch lots of tv...could I get away with having her spend her summer either at the beach or on the couch? Is that ok or would that make me a bad mommy?  The big thing she is excited about though is becoming a SK, that could be because I told her that after today - she will be a SK and I know the thought of her being older is big deal (it messes me up though since I treat her older and expect her to act older than the 5 years that she is).
I remember being her age and looking forward to what felt like endless days of fun, just being able to play or read or swim - pretty much whatever you wanted.  Summer fun I think is the big fun part of childhood and I am hoping to start those memories with Grace.  I have also started stock piling craft ideas that she can do after this weekend when I know the words "mommy, I'm bored " will come from her mouth.

Curious Leah

Sometimes I feel as if I have a new puppy or I guess an untrained dog living with us.  My youngest, Leah, is 18 months and she gets into EVERYTHING! I'm sure I've written about her abundance of curiosity before but over the last week or so, it seems to be in over drive.
Last week, as I was with my oldest, Grace, at her dance class, Leah who was suppose to be watched by her father, got into not just one of our indoor plants, but both of them.  I was told the story afterwards about how my husband found Leah playing in the dirt - he scolded her, cleaned up the mess, explained plants are not sandboxes and gave her something else to play with.  He left the room only to come back to find Leah taking the dirt from the other plant onto the floor and couch.  Either she thought that this houseplant was ok to play with or she might as well even things out.  But, she was scolded, the mess was cleaned up and again it was explained to her that she is not to touch the plants.
Fast forward to yesterday where I was checking something on my computer, in the same room with Leah.  I turned around to find our ottoman, which we use to try and keep her away from the plants was now a lovely shade of dirt brown.  I thought she was playing with one of the gazillion noise making toys since I heard it going but in fact she was covering the toy in dirt.  Leah was put in time out, the mess was cleaned up and she was reminded that she is not to play in the plants.  The whole thing reminded me of the time I found my dog when I was a kid, trying to hid her bone in an indoor tree that we had.  I walked around the around the corner to find the carpet covered with dirt and a bone sticking out of a hole that my dog had dug.
This morning as Grace was watching 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' before school can you guess what my youngest was doing instead?  That's right!  Playing in the plants!  At this point I know it's not her fault, it's mine for being stupid enough to think that a toddler would 1, actually listen to what her parents have to say.  2, that she would stop doing something she obviously enjoys doing.  And 3, think anything would change.  I know what some of you might be saying - why do you leave her alone? Because if I was with her all the time, nothing would get done in our life.  Or why don't you move the plants - well they are too big to really move.
Sometimes I am slow when it comes to remembering how kids behave - Leah is very different than Grace was at her age.  Grace, while not a perfect child, wasn't as curious about things as Leah is.  I know I am not suppose to compare, I am suppose to embrace their differences.  I am suppose to enjoy constantly walking behind my toddler telling her to stop banging on the windows, that no we are not going outside yet so put your shoes back,, please close the cupboard. I am suppose to love that my youngest loves splashing in the toliets, even though I remember to put the lid down and close the bathroom door.  I am suppose to giggle when that same child screams bloody murder as I try to wash her hands after her toliet playtime.  I am suppose to laugh when she throws her breakfast, lunch and dinner on the floor after I keep telling her to not throw food.  I am suppose to smile in delight as she pokes my eyes out in the early morning while screaming "EYES!".  I am suppose to think it's cute when my daughter throws a tantrum on the hallway floor because I asked her to put a block away.
In all honestly, the hard part of parenting a second born isn't really figuring out the differences but actually parenting - finding the patience to give each child the attention they want.  Leah is being a 18 month old and has sadly quickly discovered if she misbehaves she will get attention, not always smiling laughing attention but attention. These last few days, I have been able to spend one on one time with my youngest outdoors something she really loves and have noticed a difference.  She is more willing to listen, to please me, of course this change could also be because she has been able to get her digging in dirt need out of her system.

My weekend alone

There comes a time, about once a year, where I am fortunate enough to go away.  Away from my home, my family, my friends.  I get away from it all.  Where I get to do what I want, unwind, read, write, sleep in and if you believe it I get to experience every mom’s dream – I get to go to the bathroom – ALONE!  Yes, completely alone where there is no little person asking me a question, or putting their cold hands on my legs or where I get to have a shower without an audience, or reacting ‘Psycho”  or even just hearing “momma?”  Yes, for one weekend a year, I get to be alone…..and I love it!

I recently had my quiet time weekend.  It was the second time since becoming a mommy and I couldn’t wait for it.  I love my family, and when they aren’t around I do miss them but sometimes momma needs to be on her own.  Momma needs to be able to be quiet without having to talk all the time.  She needs to be able to take a walk without having to explain the world around her. Momma needs to be able to have dinner – hot.  She needs to be able to watch cheesy movies or ones with adult language.  Sometimes Momma needs to be able to go to the bathroom alone!

I use my alone weekend to recharge my mind, my heart and of course energy.  I use the weekend to think about me and be able to really miss my family so that I can appreciate them and all the crazy things they do again.

The first time I was able to get away, I was really nervous.  I trust my husband but he does things a little differently than I do when it comes to the girls.  I called home a lot to see how things were going and was a little sad how much fun they were having – with out me around. My girls didn’t even miss me!

This time, I still talked with those at home – but it was more my husband calling to see how I was, maybe I was a bit to eager to leave.  While my girls had a fun daddy weekend, I did hear that he was told how he was doing things wrong, not the way mommy does it, which I couldn’t help smiling over.

There is something about being alone that I need, that I think all moms need at some point during the day, week, or year.  I don’t think I could be alone for long periods of time but a weekend is good enough for me.  I need time with my girls, with my husband and with my friends and family.  But I have realized that I also need time on my own – especially before school lets out.

Houseguests

I mentioned last post that next time I would tell you about some house guests that we had, well actually that Grace had.  I really need to thank my daughter’s teacher for this because it was her that introduced my daughter to her new friends – the Chipmunks. 

The trio just appeared one day, with no warning – one day Grace just started talking to Simon and asking who the female chipmunks were (The Chipettes).  I figured one of Grace’s friends were into the Chipmunks and was playing them on the playground, I had no idea that they watched the movie in the class during indoor recess.  I have no issue with my daughter watching the movie or with the trio singers, I watched the cartoon growing up so it was kinda nostalgic for me.

It got to the point where the Chipmunks and Chipettes were always around, in fact Grace became Jeanette (the one with glasses), I was Brittany and Leah was Eleanor.  My husband was Dave.  Grace, er I mean Jeanette, was always talking with Simon – I mean always, on the way to school, probably during school, when she played outside after school.  They brothers would have dinner with us.  And they would sleep with Jeanette at night, unless of course they were keeping her up and then I would have to tell them to either keep it down or leave (they would usually keep it down then.)  I played along, how could I not?  I downloaded Chipmunk songs, I found the same cartoons that I watched and showed them to Grace/Jeanette.  I embraced  this stage.  Maybe because I was a fan or maybe because I finally got the whole imaginary phase. 

Grace has sort of played this before- become someone else for a while.  There was the time she only wanted to play Mickey and Minnie, then there came the time when she asked to be called Cinderella, and then Rapunzel (which included a long scarf for her hair), then Miss Piggy (which included a lot of Moi’s)  and then Merida (from the movie Brave which also came with a bow and arrow).  At first I would be annoyed, I didn’t want to talk like Mickey all the time or play the evil Stepmother (who really does?).  But then I guess as Grace got older I started to miss the baby Grace and realized that one day she won’t want to play with me,  it might not be a game of her pretending to be someone she isn’t, and I started to encourage her pretend life – I would be the evil stepmother, I would call her whatever she wanted me to and I would sing the songs and act out the movie.  The Chipmunks of course were different, there was no movie to act out, Grace came up with her own stories.  I would sit back and watch her play with her new friends – if you haven’t seen a five year play pretend alone, you must it’s really interesting to see what they come up with and how they see the world.  Yes, I’m not a saint and there were times when I asked to speak to just Grace.  I told her that the Chipmunks weren’t allowed to go someplace and there was one weekend when Grace wasn’t listening that I told her the Chipmunks left (she informed me that they came back to visit her though).

Sadly, the Chipmunks have left us, for how long I’m not sure, Merida has returned with her bow fighting off bears as I try to speak in a Scottish accent.  I love that my daughter gives us all parts (my husband is the bear king and Leah plays all three of Merida’s brothers unbeknownst to her).  I know one day this won’t happen anymore and I will miss it but until then I will be whoever my daughter wants me to be in her imaginary world.  Who will she be next, I’m not sure but I know it will be a lot of fun – most of the time.

What has been going on.....

I have been meaning to write a new post, but life just seemed to get in the way.  So since my last post, much has happened in our loud household.  Leah has seemed to get over whatever was bothering her and keeping her up at night.  Although she now needs to sleep with many, many stuffed animals - including a large dog called 'big dog'.  I am crossing my fingers and toes that I haven't jinxed myself.

What else has happened.....ah yes, I am now officially a dance mom, and no I am not those crazy moms you see on that show called 'dance moms'.  I just mean that my oldest had her first dance recital- so now it's official.  The whole world of dance isn't new to me, I took lessons when I was a child - ballet, tap, jazz and if you believe it baton (what it was the 80's!)  I was in recitals and I enjoyed it.  I don't recall what it was like gearing up for a big show except for how it felt to be on stage with the lights, make up and hairspray!  It was weird to be standing on the other side of the stage.  I tried to explain to her what a recital was but I don't think she really understood it even though she had been working on her dance along with her friends for weeks. Then the big weekend came, yes they had to do 2 shows!  She didn't say it, but I know Grace was nervous.  Her and I arrived early for rehersal and it seemed to help her, so did putting on her costume and I'm sure the dousing of glitter didn't hurt either.  When the time came, I stood in the curtins as my daughter took the stage. I watched her skip and point and jump and smile.  I couldn't help but tear up a bit watching my Grace perform (she had mentioned to my husband that being on stage was her dream).  Since then I have been able to removed the multiple cans of hairspray and glitter used on Grace's hair and have watched her try to re-create the entire recital (including the tap dances and ones on pointe) and I believe there will be many more dance recitals (maybe other type of shows) in the future.
Grace has also started asking just how famous is she since her picture has appeared in two local newspapers.  I really hope I have not given birth a Kim Kardashian.

Next time I will write about the new house guests living with us.

She Screams, you scream, we all scream for.......sleep!

So Leah has decided to change up our usual nap/ bedtime routine.  What we have done in the past is either my husband or myself would lay Leah down in her crib, put a blanket over her and give her another one, kiss her forehead, turn off her light and turn on her sound machine to white noise (alright it's really just static on the radio but same thing).  Then our youngest would drift into slumberville for the night.  Yes, I loved it.  I would say thank you every night for two kids who loved sleep as much as I do and feel sorry for those parents who weren't as lucky as I was.  Joke's on me, I might become one of those parents. These days either my husband or myself lay Leah down in her crib while she screams.  We try to put a blanket on her as she kicks her feet saying "no!".  We try to give her another blanket while she yells "no!".  We try to kiss her on her forehead as she shakes her head back and forth.  We flick off her light and turn on her white noise and close the door as fast as we can before Leah stands up in her crib screaming.  Ok, it's not like that every night, sometimes we can read Goodnight Moon to her while she is calm before she stands up screaming.  It took me the longest time to figure out what my youngest daughter's problem was.  She wasn't teething. She couldn't have been hungry with the amount of food she normally eats.  She had already gone poop.  She had her friends in bed with her.  Sometimes, when I myself wasn't plugging my ears and hoping the neighbours weren't calling the cops on us, I would start to cry.  I didn't know what to do.  I was scared that if I constantly went into her room and calmed her from what ever was scaring her, I would then be starting a bad habit!!!  My daughter would never learn to sleep on her own.  She would always need me to help her fall asleep.  She would never be able to have a normal childhood, one full of sleepovers with friends or family members.  She would never leave home to go to college.  She would never get married, or if she did I would still have to help her fall asleep while her husband tried to sleep himself.  Forget that my husband and I would never be able to go away somewhere, alone, just the two of us.  No one would want to watch Leah if this was how she was before she fell asleep.  There was no way I could start this horrible habit that would never be broken, even though Leah is only 17 months old!
Well, I would go in and check on her, my heart just couldn't take it. And most times I would find her standing up screaming and once she saw me she would calm down.  And during the early, early, not even close to be morning times when she woke up and screamed, I would take her back to bed with me (gasp!) where she would fall asleep.  It was actually my husband, (I think he reads parenting books when I'm not looking because he is the voice of reason), who suggested that maybe Leah is going through some type of separation anxiety.  Impossible since I am with her all, well most of the time.  But she doesn't have all of my attention the time.  Well Dr. Spock (my husband) was on to sometimes since there is something called nighttime separation anxiety ( I will throw in naptime separation anxiety as well).  Sadly, I beleive Leah suffers from that which means I have to go to her pretty much anytime she screams to assure her that everything is ok.  Hopefully the books are correct when they say most kids outgrow this by 2 years....

Mother's Day

So Mother's Day has come and gone.  A day when mother's all over the world, or maybe just in places that celebrate the day, are suppose to be pampered and spoiled.  A day when all children are suppose to shower their mother's with love, kisses, hugs, presents and be on their best behaviour. A day when the sky is blue, the weather is warm and it's just over all beautiful.  Well, it's suppose to be like that because that's how it is in the movies and movies are suppose to show what real life is always like right?  My mother's day started out well, Grace woke me up early to give me her card which I can tell she actually did spend some time on - her hands were the flowers in a flower pot (she had given me a gift already from school - a pansy in a pot).  She was very excited and proud of her self and I was too.  Then her and her daddy brought in my gift, something that Grace picked out on her own - a Magic Bullet.  So the day started out well, sure I didn't get to sleep in but eh not a big deal.  My husband made breakfast while my daughter's played in my room.  Then the plan was for Grace and I to go to Huntsville- do some shopping and have lunch.  The two of us did it last year and had some fun, I assumed that it would forever be repeated.
So my oldest daughter and I bundled up and headed to Huntsville.  I needed to pick up a swimsuit, and if you saw what I wore last year you would agree with me (no one told me I had been wearing a suit much, much too old for me.  I swear one time I think a 70 year old was wearing the same one as me.)
So after I found a suit that wasn't too old and actually fit me, Grace and I went to the kids section to pick out some shirts for Leah so of course Grace needed some clothes too.  I couldn't turn down my daughter and said ok she could pick out a shirt too.  Of course she picks a shirt on the regular priced table and started to pout when I said no, it costs too much, if you want a shirt it has to come from this table.  A little pouting and then she miraculously found a shirt.  Then she wanted a skirt to go with it and some leggings.  Skirts and leggings were turned down but she did mange to get a pair of shorts from me.  After shopping, we headed over for some lunch.  While we were waiting for our meals, another family came in and Grace started staring at them.  I quietly asked her to stop staring at them to which she replied she couldn't help it.  We switched seats and waited for our food.  When our waitress came over to see if we needed anything I told her, yes, our food please' and as she walked away she said, 'yea we are really busy today'.  Now, I worked in food service before and I know rule number one, the one thing that would soothe most customers over, even if it's not your fault, even if every person in town was in your restaurant eating is you apologize for having to wait.  I get that kitchens get busy but I don't understand servers not being sorry for it.  My mood started to change.  So there Grace and I were waiting for our meals and I started to feel like I was on a first date with my daughter , just making conversation.  When our food finally did arrive we quickly ate it and then started to leave but not before making one last stop in the ladies room where Grace kept touching the tiles even after I told her to stop.  Her ignoring me for the pleasure of touching nasty public tiles was beyond annoying.  We left the restaurant and was greeted, after a week or so of beautiful, hot weather with a snowstorm.  The drive home was nice, because Grace slept but once she awoke she was crabby, complaining about how her water bottle wasn't working right (what?).  Once we arrived home, I told my husband maybe next year I go out alone.
I know Mother's Day is one day and being able to spend it with Grace was the idea, sure it didn't go perfectly and maybe I set myself up for failure because last year was really nice.  I didn't expect a parade, although that would be nice - where us mother's can sit on top of floats and have chocolate and flowers thrown at us.  I guess I just expected my ordinarily behaved daughter to well, behave on that day.  I felt some what alone, especially after checking on Facebook at how many other moms out there were having the perfect mother's day - given they were spending it with adults but still.  It wasn't until I spoke with other moms who said their "special" day wasn't really that special.  Yes, I know I am whining but I like that there is one day where we show gratitude and appreciate to us moms (and next month dads) for all the crap we deal with, all the tantrums, all the poop we clean up. A day to just say thank you, even though it should be said every day but one day where you have to say it is nice too.  And the homemade cards aren't too shabby either.

It happened.....

So, it happened today - I think Leah secretly reads this blog when I'm not looking, but she is finally, finally walking on her own.  Yup, no assistance from mommy either.  Just Leah, putting one foot in front of the other.  It just happened too.  The two of us had come home from volunteering at Grace's school, something we do every Thursday and I lead my youngest into the house and well, she just kept walking.  That's all she did while I got lunch ready and that's all she's been doing since.  Just walking - into all the rooms of the house.  All over the backyard.  In her bare feet, in her sandels.  Wearing a hat, without a hat.  Without her diaper on.  Just walking.  She hasn't figured out how to get up on her own just yet, so there is some knee walking action but I think that won't be around for long.
I should also mention that Leah has also started to get comfortable climbing onto things - couches, picnic tables.
I am biting my tongue against saying, for the moment, I miss the non-walking you.  I'll let my daughter enjoy her new found freedom of walking....where she wants to - for now.

Put One Foot in Front of the Other

Leah turned 17 months the other day, don't worry I will stop counting her age in months pretty soon - as soon as she reaches two years (or 24 months).  Anyway, Leah turned 17 months the other day and she is still walking on her knees!  Yes, my darling baby girl, who talks non stop, can pick up glitter from the floor with her chubby fingers, pretends to read and enjoys lineing toys up is still prefering to walk on her knees.  She doesn't crawl - she's moved past that and prefers to use her knees like they are her feet.  I've read the books, I know it's a confidence thing because she can actually walk on her feet, on her own, without holding onto my finger for dear life.  She teases me with it by walking a few steps on her own every now and then and then it's like she decides the joke is over and she returns to her knee walking.  When she does take her "baby" steps, I cheer her on like she was competing in an olypmic sport but she still choses to cut up her knees instead of using her feet.  I wonder if this is a sign that my daughter will always have a confidence problem, will I constantly have to be cheering her on the sidelines as she builds a tower, or eats on her own, or puts her shoes on, or wipes her bum - Way to go Leah! You wiped your own bum!! Rar rar!!  Oh, please I hope not!
I try not to carry her around and in fact she doens't always want to be carried either.  She's barefoot pretty much all the time now that the warm weather is here or she's in sandles outside because I wouldn't walk either if I had to walk barefoot on gravel.
Sometimes I think she is dragging this next step (no pun intended) on just to mess with me.  Other times I think she is being really nice by giving me a long rest before she starts running and climbing all over the place while yelling "I miss the days when you couldn't walk!!"