Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is coming up, yes I know what many of you are thinking, 'it should be every day that we share our love with each other', 'it's just a Hallmark holiday', blah blah blah.  I do sort of agree with you - sort of.  Sure we should make sure our loved ones know that we love them every day and show our appreciation and love for our friends and all that jazz but come on, isn't it nice to be included in this Hallmark holiday and to get that pound of chocolate before Easter, especially if you are going through chocolate withdrawals from Christmas like I am....I'm eating chocolate chips for goodness sake!!!
What was I talking about?...right Valentine's day, so I'm not completely opposed to it, a girls gotta eat chocolate right?  But I never realized how much work actually goes into it when you have young kids.  I think I've sent Valentine's from Grace before, she of course didn't sign them but this is her first year when she will be sending out those little cards to a gazillion other kids and filling in the 'to' and 'from' parts herself.  I thought about maybe writing out who the Valentine's are for to help my daughter out but then I figured - no, this will be a good learning experience for Grace, plus it might be frowned upon by her teachers.  So even though it would have taken me 20 minutes to do all her valentines, I sit back and let her pick which of her friend's get which Disney Princess card (I'm sure they will be a big hit to the boys in her class)  and continually tell my daughter that she needs to write smaller so that the full name can fit on the card itself.  Grace is actually doing good with the whole printing, but then again she only does about eight cards a day or so, but still - I'm proud of her penmanship- especially for a four year old.
  Question: who designs store bought Valentine's Day cards?  These things are so small, no adult could really print any name with more than three letters clearly on them.  I am convinced these tiny cards have been created by adults, or possibly elves who don't have any children, especially young school age children, because if they did they would make these cards the size of poster board in order to accommodate the child's printing, since they are still learning to print and are unaware that letters come in different sizes other than extra, extra large!  And yes, I did buy Valentine's Day cards instead of making them because I know Grace would make half a card and then get bored and I would be stuck making the gazillion cards for her friends.  Not that I would mind sharing the love, just as long as there is a heart shaped box of chocolates near by.

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Leah goes Psycho

I now know how Janet Leigh must have felt during the shower scene in Psycho.  You know just relaxing having a shower and then - reek! reek! reek! Someone pulls the shower curtain back and well I don't want to ruin the scene for those who haven't seen it yet.  There I was this morning, trying to have a nice shower, getting myself ready for the day.  Normally I have a shower right after I work out, when my husband is home so that someone can watch the kids, well so that an adult can watch the kids since Grace claims she can watch Leah which of course means, 'I am in the same room with Leah- most of the time but I am not actually watching my sister especially if the TV is on'.  So, back to this morning, Grace and my husband had left the house and I wanted to take a shower, so I brought Leah into my room with some books and toys and found 'Clifford' on TV for her to watch thinking - my 14 month old daughter will actually sit down maybe look at some books or watch the big red dog on TV so that I can have a 10 minute shower.  She has never done this before, normally she getting into our nightstand drawers, taking the bookmark out of my book or turning off my alarm clock but today could be the day!  I'm not sure what I was drinking when I thought this but I should drink it again on the weekend after my girls go to bed.  So, I get into the shower and then I hear my bathroom door close.  I peek out and there is Leah in my bathroom - alright, so I guess she doesn't like the Godzilla like dog, no big deal.  I go back to my shower.  Then I hear Leah open the cupboard under the sink - hmmmm this could be trouble and I start to wonder if we (I mean me) should start putting everything behind plastic lock and key.  I hear Leah take stuff from the cupboard - half empty after shave lotion, half empty relaxing bubble bath, half empty mouthwash (I guess I should clean my cupboards more or just let Leah do it for me).  Then I hear nothing.  I don't worry, Leah is most likely playing with the toilet paper or trying to eat something, that kid eats everything that she finds on the floor and I mean everything - hair, lint, small stones (no stars yet though).
When I didn't hear anything like her pulling everything out from under the sink, spitting whatever she put in her mouth out after realizing that hair doesn't taste good,  the flutter of the toilet paper roll spinning as mountains of paper land on the floor, or even her ear bleeding scream I started to get a little worried.  I call out her name - nothing.  I didn't hear the door open, she can't even open doors -yet so she must be still in the bathroom.  I am just getting ready to turn around when - reek! reek! reek!  Leah grabs the shower curtain and pulls it toward her and giggles -sort of.  I'm telling you - Psycho! Well minus the cross dressing and gigantic knife and blood....but still the same thing.  Sort of.  Leah and Grace have done the whole pulling back the shower curtain thing before but in a more gentle way, you knew they were coming because you could see their tiny fingers gripping the curtain, they didn't just push it out of the way to scare the poop out of you.  Memo to mommy - get a clear shower curtain.

"But why does he have holes in his hands?"

I was reading some celebrity news the other day while Grace was finishing up her breakfast, yes I know - it's not real news, but one can only take so much about the economy, natural disasters, or sports before losing their minds.  Besides it is news - how else can you feel better about your choices unless you know what new trouble Lindsay Lohan has gotten herself into, or what petty fights the Real Housewives of Wherever are in, or how can you know if dreams do come true unless you know if Brangelina have finally gotten married (they haven't yet by the way).  So there I was sitting beside my oldest, catching up on the latest pictures of Kim Kardashian's baby bump as Grace slowly chewed her waffle when she asked " who's that man?"
I scroll the page up a bit and there is a picture of 'Jesus' and a story of how the History Channel will be airing a special on the Bible in March.
"That's a picture of Jesus when he was an adult" I said to Grace.  My oldest is aware of the man, well more about him as a baby because of this past Christmas.  She was kind of obsessed about it, but not compared to her obsession with Frosty the Snowman or Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.  She knows the story of how Jesus was born.
"Why does he have long, curly hair?" Grace asked.
"Because that's how some people wore their hair back then."
"Oh.  Why does he have holes in his hands?"  she asked.
What?  And yes, there in his hand was a clear hole, obviously the picture was of the Resurrected Jesus.  I explained to my four year old, in a way I hoped would make sense to her, about how Jesus died and how on Easter he rose.  I figured she understood the story, how could she not, it's so easy to understand.  Grace took a few more bites of her waffle while I went on to read about Beyonce's lip synching scandal.
"But, why does he have holes in his hands!" Grace blurted out.
I tried not to laugh and explained again how Jesus was nailed to a cross, that he had nails in his hands and feet.
"That's not nice." was Grace's reply.
"No, it's not.  People don't do that anymore."
And that's how Grace learned about what happened when Baby Jesus grew up.

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Scream like no one is listening

So I mentioned before how Leah has decided to start screaming as a way to get the family's attention.  I should mention that her scream isn't the typical loud noise - oh no, my daughter is able to hit a certain octave that' an ear piercing, glass shattering, Mariah Carey noise.  It' brings tears to your eyes and not in the "oh my goodness that's an amazing, beautiful sound".  It's annoying and it hurts, especially when she does it when you are holding her.  I get it's the only way she has figured out how to communicate.  I understand she does it because it's easy for her and she has figure out that it's a good way to get either my husband or my attention.  I get it but I don't like it.  Especially when she belts it out as dinner is being served and she's hungry and she just can't wait.  Or during dinner when instead of pointing, like I ask her to do, she goes as Opera style for her milk or more food.  I know this headache of a phase will pass and while I am tempted to put some ear plugs in, I know there will be a day when she will talk non-stop just to hear her own voice and I will miss when all she could do was babble and scream!

Grace's Future Plans

My four year old daughter Grace has just informed of her future...she will be having four kids, a pair of 12 year olds - a boy and a girl named Mac and Olivia and then another pair of three year olds a boy and a girl named Caroline and Kayla (Caroline I assume will be the boy).  The oldest set of twins will be able to play a little bit longer while the youngest set eat dinner and then Grace will shoo the youngest - Caroline and Kayla out once they are finished and then Mac, Olivia and Grace will be able to eat.  Grace's husband, a boy in her class, will eat after everyone else and then clean up the kitchen.  The oldest kids will look after the youngest, Mac will look after Caroline while Olivia will look after Kayla.  My daughter will stay home and I assume look after her three year olds while the 12 year olds are in school and her husband will work outside of the house.  Grace told me they will live close to us so that we can visit and eat with her and her oldest kids.  She will also have a dog.
My husband and I asked her why she will marry this particular boy and Grace said "because I know his last name and he is nice to me most of the time."  I should mention this boy accidentally hit Grace in the face one day...when we brought that to her attention she replied "oh I don't mind." Ummmmmm, ok?  I calmly told my oldest that it's never ok to be hit.  I am trying not to freak out about her casual feelings about domestic violence and I will hold off before talking about those stats...at least until she is maybe five or six.