Back to reality today. My oldest is back in school and life has returned to normal after the holiday's that for some reason went by really quick (does time speed up once you have kids?). The last few days, thanks to all the snow we now have, sledding (as it is called in our house - because as I have been corrected by Grace we have sleds.) or tobogganing has been the main focus in our house as well as skating and snow people building. As fun as it all that is, I have been feel really guilty because most of this fun wintery stuff happens when Leah is taking her nap. It doesn't just happen that way either, I actually plan it to happen that way for good reason. Do you know how much it sucks to try and take a 13 month old out to "play" in the snow? It's not fun. First of all, I have yet to find winter boots that actually fit her feet, that keep them warm or that she can't kick off - if actual winter boots that don't cost thousands of dollars does exsist please notify me ASAP!. Also Leah can't walk yet so while it's cute to watch her try and crawl in the snow, this form of transportation causes mountains of snow to be moved in between where her mitts ends and her coat meet- the dreaded wrist area. Once that tender spot gets hit with cold, it's all over. Another reason it sucks is because Leah can't toboggan (or sled) yet. Yes she does get pulled on her own toboggan (or sled) which amuses Grace but once Leah sees what her older sister is doing, she of course wants to do it as well. I won't even get into how much "fun" it is to dress a toddler into winter gear.
But this brings me back to my mom guilt. I feel guilty of having fun while Leah is napping even though I know one day we will all be able to enjoy the coldness together. Right now I almost feel as Grace, my husband and I were cheating on Leah, and we don't even try to hide it either what with the whole leaving our soggy mitts and wet boots laying around as the youngest in our family has her after nap snack and I guess wonders what the heck went on while she was sleeping. I also feel guilty of spending more one on one time with my oldest. While Grace was home for winter break, Leah and I couldn't really spend the one on one time we normally spend together while Grace is at school. I tried explaining to my oldest that I should spend on one on one time with Leah and for maybe five minutes I was able to until Grace had to ask me something or tried to show Leah how to do something or to answer a question I had asked Leah. I'm sure as Leah gets older I will find the balance of spending quality one on one time with each of my daughters and one day Leah will know what happens when she is having her afternoon nap.