The last can of formula for Leah was opened today. I don't know how many cans over the last year we have gone through, but I'm sure it's been a lot. Leah has been on formula pretty much since she was born and yes I know breast is best. Just like with Grace, I wanted to, I hoped to breast feed my daughters but it didn't happen that way and since I love them and wanted to keep them around I figure I better feed them something.
Anyway, today the last can was opened and in a weird way I am sad about it. It's just another reminder that Leah is getting older. And to sound like every other mommy out there, I remember when Leah was first born and I was stressed over feeding - first trying with the breast then going to bottle. I remember writing everything down- how much she had, when she had her bottles and what she left in her diapers. I remember the days of constantly washing and sterilizing bottles, boiling water, measuring and trying to remember the ratio of scoops to water and then trying to remember how many scoops were put into the bottles. I remember waiting until the time when Leah would only need about three bottles a day and then finally none. Like everything else that happens in life, I look back and wonder what I was so stressed about, so worried about - washing, sterilizing, measuring seem like no big deal (of course I am now sleeping compared to almost 12 months ago). Sometimes I do wish though that I could go back in time and live through it again.
Don't get me wrong, there is a part of me that is a little excited for Leah to fully be on regular food and to no longer have to deal with bottles (well at least not having to deal with more than one a day) but I think a part of me will still miss the closeness of feeding my children, even though I did it with a bottle. I will miss Leah getting excited when she sees her bottle and cuddling on my lap at the end of the day. Actually, I will still get to do that for another year or so, just minus the formula.